The table was set clean in the garden and the tea was being poured in the saucer from an off-white sparkling tea-pot, it was smoking and smelling of the herbs. The tea-pot, which Shivam had got for her; from Calcutta some four years back and it was as stainless and special as ever. They both had a routine of having the morning tea together while they watch the beautiful backyard of their house. This morning was a little different, besides her and Shivam, Anuj’s share of tea also was being made today, she puts one and a half spoonful of sugar in his cup and he continuously kept looking at the glowing skin of her hands wearing red bangles on her wrists but quivering fingers making tea, putting milk at one moment and stirring the sugar as it gradually sweetened the warm drink. She threw a quick glance at him and placed the saucer there in front of him. She goes into the kitchen on account of preparing breakfast for the three of them. Anuj had a tiring journey from Delhi last night. The breakfast table was bigger than the one in their backyard, the table cloth was flawlessly drawn today and Shivam was very particular about the same, after all Anuj and he could be together today after a wide gap of seven years. The memorable year of 1995, their farewell day at college in Delhi, they had last met; all of them Shivam, Arpita and Anuj. Since then, they had no news of Anuj besides, that he moved to States at his uncle’s to continue his further studies. The present was the day they all had to talk about it. What happened and how it happened, and finally why it happened. This anxiety was dominantly present in Arpita’s heart, a woman’s heart. A woman’s heart which once had loved and was mistaken for the same.
While the mixie in the kitchen is roaring to its pitch, and Arpita works endlessly, it is almost 1:30 noon, Anuj and Shivam unable to find time for anything else than talking and revisiting the good old college days. Little Anaya, two, is sleeping in her cradle peacefully, probably dreaming, dreaming a girl’s dream, weaving some naïve understanding of her own little world, the world of pure thoughts and babbling words, though broken yet contained a flow of her sentiments, who knows none beyond mummy’s care and daddy’s love.
Her wish still lingers on, even to this day to fetch a moment out of her own life so that she may clarify the necessary matter with Anuj. The chapter which unfortunately, could not be completed in her case. Anuj has perhaps acquired the famous American air in his sense, probably he is ignoring her; she felt. She tried to be judgemental of his behaviour almost each day even in these long seven years, but it was unanswered. She had been questioning tirelessly but who knew the pain she underwent through each passing day. Shivam was a loving husband, a caring one; but a husband. It was going complex, she didn’t want to miss this chance that life had finally given her, to talk to Anuj before he again flies off to America, a strange land of dreamers.
“Let’s have coffee together, it would be a great idea before I take a short leave of you to settle some account of business and be back before dinner Anuj” informed Shivam. The idea brought discomfort at Anuj’s disposition. Arpita listened; and like a dedicated wife went in the kitchen to brew coffee for them, followed by the time when Anuj and Arpita are alone, at one place, at one time. “ I do not want to be any inconvenience to you by staying in front of your eyes, I am sorry for..” Anuj could not take it further. Arpita held tray in her hands and restlessly cleared the table, her body was speaking for her suppressed emotion, a lingering wish and an innocent confession. She was puzzled. How to begin a talk, with a man who is not a friend to her since long, not even a little more than a friend.
An hour had been already spent, a futile span which couldn’t decide anything for Arpita. It was childish of her to break in front if him suddenly. She was broken to the core of her senses. Her red bangles still retained the music when she placed both her hands on her face and wept. It was painful to Anuj, but as always he was out of speech. He,a man, an intelligent one believed not in prophesying his acts as ever before. He moved and held her in his. “I am sorry that is all I can say to you Arpita” and she melted in his mortal embrace, but it was yet bitter to hear that sorry, which never moved beyond its very denotation. She was quiet and still was being caressed by him, the same old warmth, as if it had been perfectly matured between these two bodies only, without knowing any gap of unfortunate seven years. “You could have told me about States Anuj, and I had been really foolish to create a world for us, in my imagination” she choked. They stood still, speechless. It was this breakdown which was bringing inside her heart a gradual sensation of peace, more than anything else, more than his embrace which was now diminishing in its effect over her. The chapter of Anuj was completed now, an urge of sharing was fulfilled inside that woman’s heart.
The next morning was fragrant with purer thoughts. It was more satisfying a dawn in her life, with Shivam and Anaya, a completed vision, a desired life as never before. She looked at sleeping Anaya’s face, and gives her daughter a silent blessing; so that again a woman’s heart never suppresses in itself, a lingering wish.
