She had been crying all night. Last night too, had been no different. Another sleepless night. The puffiness under her eyes had been observed by almost all colleagues in the office today, but she changed the conversation each time by adding “Oh, just the workload”. This night was sole, this night was a particular night. Yet, the night was really dark, she wished it had not been so. This night for Maya was painful. The clock struck two, the tears also rushed through her eyes as fast as the hands of the clock moved, and just the life was still. The breeze outside lacked its fundamental nature, the murmur of the wind -swept leaves on the bush was blank, the knock on the window by the flowing air didn’t bring good news anymore, as it did three years back. Her fists tightened naturally, she was crying, lying on her bed pushing her hard in the padding. The wind chime irritated her, she paid no regard to its tinkle any further, as she wanted to block all amusing sounds around her...for to surrender herself to her past..the past in which she is alive, the past in which she had been happy, the past which talks to her by making most pleasant sounds, the past which has Arun.
She smiled abruptly, she is reminded of the day they had first met. They had met because they were destined to, as they were destined to part. Arun had parked his car right in front of the coffee shop, he knew from their friendship days in school, she loves the grande coffee cuppa at Costa. The 19 February, their first date. Her pressed lips and she avoided looking right into his eyes; she had to be shy, following the basic code of conduct, at the first date of her life. She wore a pink color salwar kameez, with white chiffon dupatta that complimented her milky white complexion very well, while Arun notices the silver colored, big and round earrings that kissed her face, each time she talked and moved. She notices that he had turned fair, more handsome and keeps neat and clean, so unlike his adolescence years in school. He had worn green and white striped shirt with denims, and stood reasonably tall, she was impressed. It was the first time they were to converse as grown ups! It was the first time, they were looking at the same life, together. “ I never knew, you would turn so beautiful like this” says Arun teasingly, “and you seem to talk more intelligent now”. Maya, had only one answer to it, a giggle. They talked as never before, two hours had been spent sharing their views, ideas and lifestyles. The date had been close to perfect, a practical one. Maya could see a bright future; then.
The tear dropped on the pillow, she came back to the present dark night. Again her room filled up with oddity, the things seemed to torment her, and it was agonizing. The bliss could be found only in the midst of the memories, the memories of Arun. She wanted to run to mama, to put her head in her lap, and craved to go to sleep which was inaccessible tonight. Yet, she wished to see his face, she longed for his arms to embrace her. Maya had been helpless, she could not see any end to this night. She had to complete a heap of assignments the next day in the office, the job would require her mind and physical exercise both, but how can she be equipped enough to take such a burden, if she doesn’t take ample sleep a night before. This had bothered her, but she consciously left herself to pain. The link between Maya and this hurting had become almost natural, as the link between her and Arun had been; three years back. She moves with the flow and misses him.
They met often, while she came back from her college, as he did too. They met at Costa or went for not-so-long drives, because she had been responsible enough to not be late for home. Maya is reminded of one such time, when she and Arun planned a day out for a long drive. The weather had been somewhat cloudy when they left, later it turned into a dark blue colored sky as if painted with sparkling blue shade. The windows were freed down, the wind was moving in, across the car glasses. Arun had played her favorite collection of some old hits plus ghazals. This was Life! She says “Arun, this is it, this is what I had always desired.” Arun and Maya are cheerful today, what better they could have asked for. It starts raining, the weather is incredible and is bringing them closer. Maya wraps her arm around his, and slants sideways on his shoulder, she doesn’t want to go back home and have the routine dinner of dal and chapatti that mama would make. So, they plan to stop by the highway to have their share of hot tea. Its like a dream for her, she realizes she is on the top of the world! Arun orders tea and sandwiches, which Maya finds quite satisfying an evening meal shared with Arun. It is 4:30 pm, they have to return now, and be home by 6:00.Arun is a guy of few words, he smiles more and replies less, and this is what Maya finds ‘cute’ in him. “He is the one”, her heart says to her every time he looks at her. The roads had been jammed past highway because of such heavy rain, she is tensed and restless, that she may be questioned on being late. There is noise, loud horns, brawls among drivers and their car, moving only for the sake of it! This was unwanted, she goes depressed!
But not worse than the way she is miserable presently, there is no one around, at least in such a crazy atmosphere, Arun was there, who gave her strength in such spiteful situations. Now, no one is there, mama and papa had been sleeping without having any idea of what she is going through, perhaps so is Arun . The tears had stopped rolling down for a while, she tries to get up, and decides to meditate and feel strong. Failing to do so, she approaches the cupboard, possibly the only comfort at this moment was to have a look at that beautiful dress Arun had gifted her on her birthday a few years back, and she keeps the dress tightly close to herself and is reminded of that day….
“And, here comes the princess!”, exclaims Arun, the dress really suited her, she was glowing more fair in that blue churidaar and light-green colored kameez, as she comes out of the trial room, to him her face had never looked so glowing, her unmade hair as charming, her body as voluptuous and her style more vivacious! She was looking purely adorable in this dress. They leave Shopper’s and head off to Priya’s to catch up a movie, it was a part of the big treat today, after having the lunch at the Chinese restaurant close by. It was no less than a perfect time spent together. They walked hand-in-hand through the complex, and shopped unnecessarily, as Maya liked collecting superfluous stuff, and Arun found it ‘cute’. Similarly, they accepted one another’s plus(s) and minus(s).So they complimented each other, they had many equivalent habits, they never had unnecessary arguments other than debating on current issues or the news of the day! Yes, they were not one of those living-for-love kinds of material, they both were living-for-life, living ‘together’. What had happened to this life? Why Maya’s and Arun’s love is a history? Maya had been crushed by this thought, that their life which they lived together, was a history.
Soon after Maya was dropped safely by Arun at her place after the not-so-long drive date. Arun was delighted and keyed up, that it was a wonderful day. He was feeling contented. It was something he had not felt before in his life. Maya was the one, the one girl who could bring that charisma to his life. He decided that time, to rush home as soon as possible and unveil their association to family. He drove fast, and thought fast. He decided he would tell mummy first. The rain didn’t stop, and Arun didn’t slow down. Life seemed easy, so easy. He was absent minded, he was smiling. Maya laments tonight, their love would have been culminated, if that evening would not have been awful. If he had been conscious, he would not have collapsed on the road with that tree, which had crushed him to death. So, he would have been there with her, with his people, with himself. This night had been as appalling as that night. This night, was the unfortunate one, which made her feel incomplete, without Arun. The loss can never be compensated. The rains only brought tears along , the traffic noise was a bad omen, and the whispering air brought the scorching pain. Maya was changed. This Maya, didn’t know what life is. How to live this life, if it can be called so. This Maya, is waiting for Arun to come, yet to come.
Maya stood helplessly with her dress in her hands. She kissed the dress, and could smell the touch of his hands on it, when he had circled his arms around her waist. She had kept Arun alive, in her reminiscences, through the days and nights. She could see Arun walking along with her, with each step she takes. Arun pats her for the success she reaps and is a companion through the obstacles. Arun is alive in her soul, and now also they ‘live together’, they share the same breath. It is 4:30 am, tomorrow is office. “I have a lot to do, Arun would be unhappy, if I disrespect my work” she reassures herself. Maya had to live life somehow, doing things how he would have liked. She goes to her bed, and sleeps with some droplets of tears on her eye-lashes. She leaves home, at 8:30 and moves out of the car, thinking the day is going to be good, the way Arun would have liked it. She goes on.
